Right In My Own Backyard

I've been wondering for several weeks now what the weird guy Claude across the street has been doing with the end of his new fence. He was finally gone, so my niece and I walked over to get a look.

As you can see, he has filled the end of his fence, the part facing the street, with lots of little figurines: a squirrel, a fox, an alien, birds and a birdhouse, etc. Couldn't resist the photo.

Another Recording from Days Past

A while back I talked about the country music albums that I treasure. I've got a comedy record that I loved to hear when I was younger. It was already old by the time I got to hear it. It was my grandpa's, and he had a great sense of humor.

I guess It's In the Book is the main side and it's by Johnny Standley and was recorded sometime in the 1950s. Standley is in the guise of an old country preacher, somewhere between Andy Griffith and a tent revival, and discusses the story of Little Bo Peep very literally. It was so amusing to hear, and safe for all audiences, of course.

The best part to me is the second side, the song Grandma's Lye Soap. It's a hoot! I played this record so much while I was growing up that I can still recite every word. Unfortunately, my copy is a 78 and it broke. Thank God someone posted a recording of the record on YouTube. Now you all can hear it, too. Have fun! Grandma's Lye Soap starts about halfway in, so wait for it.

Batter Up!

For those of you who love spray-can cheese, whipped topping, etc., you can now spray your pancakes! Saw this in Winn-Dixie this weekend - the Batter Blaster. Just blast the batter onto your griddle, into your waffle maker, at unsuspecting family pets, etc. And it's organic, for those of you who care about blasting friendly fire.

A Walk Down a Country Lane

I really don't like new country music. I think it has gotten so far from its roots as to be unrecognizable. Too pop, too glam. But give me good old country music and I'm happy.

I grew up going with my parents to taverns. (In Southern Illinois

we say "taverns," not "bars.") My mother was 

too afraid to take me out of the house before I was six months old because she thought I'd get some horrible disease, but the minute I turned six months, out I went with them.

We lived two doors down from their usual hangout, the Broadway Tavern,

 and went there every Friday and

 Saturday night – maybe on Wednesday and Sunday, too. They never left me with a babysitter; I was taken along every time. Sometimes we'd go to the Heidelberg, sometimes to Gherdini's, sometimes to the Elk's Club or Meyers' Tavern.

Beef jerky and beer nuts were food staples to me. I liked chocolate soda or a Shirley Temple if I was feeling grown-up. I had my run of the place when we went to the Broadway. I could walk all around, maybe go in the back to the storeroom

 where some of the guys played cards. I was fascinated with the old pictures on the wall of the Broadway's old days and the collection of hundreds of shaped Jim

 Beam bottles along the top of the walls in their lighted glass cases.

There was always country music playing. When they had me, my mom was 38 and my dad was 50, so they ran with an older crowd. They loved country music from the '30s on. I learned to love the music, the accents and the twang.

When we'd have people over, there were a couple of albums that got played over and over while everyone was drinking beer and I was running tipboards. A tipboard is a gambling device where people pay to peel off a folded and sealed batch of tickets for the chance to get the winning number. Not legal and probably not a great idea to have a 7-year-old running it. But that's my life.

Some of the music that was always playing is from my absolute favorite country album. It's a variety album with the snappy name of "Famous Original Hits by 25 Great Country Music Artists." Everybody's on there, starting with Roy Acuff and the "Wabash Cannonball" to Lefty Frizzell and "If You've Got the Money, Honey (I've Got the Time)," to Buck Owens with "Act Naturally." It's just a fabulous lineup of the great old stars and their original hits and I've never found another country album to rival it.

Later on they put out a follow-up to it, called "Country Hall of Fame, Vol. 2." Not exactly the same name as the first, but I guess they figured that's what everyone would call it. It's got another good lineup, but definitely secondary to the first. Even with that said, there was Roger Miller (love him!) with "Dang Me," Ray Price doing "City Lights," and Flatt & Scruggs with "Foggy Mountain Special."

As you can see, I still have the albums. They are my treasures. I only wish I could find them on CD. Not likely, but I'm always looking.

A Taco Bell Experience

So we go to Taco Bell the other day and pull up right in front of one of the lights in the parking lot. Loved the graffitti on it, so I wanted to share it. Apparently other beings love tacos, too! Photo by Herb.

My Brush with Celebrity

Yeah, I got to meet Dan Aykroyd when he was in Gulfport last week. He was in town promoting his new spirit, Crystal Head vodka, the bottle of which is made as an exact replica of a human skull, done in Murano glass.

He was at L&M liquor store on Pass Road from 2-4 Friday afternoon, April 24. I'm hoping that not a lot of people besides me saw the small, pink sign on the windows at the liquor store and that there won't be many people there. You know, that way Dan and I could have a chance to chat, swap ideas, exchange business cards, etc.

Well, there were hundreds and hundreds of people there. Lots. When I got there at 1:30, the crowd was already down the side of the building, jogged out into the street

 and about a half a block down from there. Word had gotten out. The huge overland rig with "Crystal Head vodka" all over it may have

 helped.

So I stood in line for about an hour and a half, having a great time talking with this skinny, leathery chick from McClain who had already sampled some spirits before she got there. But she was cool. We had a good time cutting up until she kept referring to Dan Aykroyd as Bill Murray and then got me doing it.

When I finally got to where Dan was signing the bottles I put my 1976 Saturday Night Live album down on the table and told him that I'd been schlepping that album around the country since 1976. He said "Great!" and said that he hoped I still watched the show. Of co

urse I said yes, and that I have a friend who is a dresser for the show.

He was pleasantly surprised and asked who it was. I told him it was Keith Shaw.

"Keith?! I know Keith! We've worked together on a few things. Tell him I said hello!"

I was so stunned. I thought I was getting punked. (Keith, if you really don't know Dan, just don't tell me.)

I told him that we'd been best friends since high school. Then he asked my name and I managed to remember it. Then he said, "The next time I see Keith, I'll remember you to him." I'm walking on clouds by this time. I've had an actual conversation with Dan Aykroyd, I've shaken his hand twice, had my picture made with him and gotten autographs on the ultra-cool bottle of liquor and my prized SNL album. I also got a good sunburn that was definitely worth it. Had a great time.

Ho in Da Sto'

Today's edition of "Ho in Da Sto" is brought to you by the Ho Patro'. This particular specimen was snapped at 10 am on a Sunday in Winn-Dixie. I wheeled around the end of the aisle just in time to see the white pumps. The shorts, hat and everything really made the outfit, but the "unsober" attitude really sealed the deal. Sorry the pic is blurry - I was too stunned to hold the camera still.